Never Been Kissed, or, Romantic Undertones that Still Get Me to This DAY.

Never Been Kissed (1999) Starring Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan, with David Arquette, Molly Shannon, and so many more stars. So this film will always be written in my heart as one of my favorite movies ever, primarily because I identify so much with Ms. Josie Gellar, or “Josie Grossie”, played by Drew Barrymore. I am a Drew Barrymore fanatic, and I know so many love her. Michael Vartan is very cute as the ‘cool’ Mr. Coulson, who becomes Josie’s love interest. It doesn’t start out that way. Josie is a 25 year old ‘nerdy’ copywriter who wants to be a reporter, but her boss, Gus, played by John C. Reilly, won’t give her a chance. She also is hiding a secret, that she’s never been kissed, let alone anything else. She gets the assignment of a lifetime when her boss’s boss tells her to go undercover as a high school student to find out ‘What kids are like’. Sounds exciting, and simple enough… Still, Josie totally mucks it up... even with some help from her friend Anita (Molly Shannon), she ends up back with the ‘nerdy’ group just like she was in high school. The geeks/nerds are not who Gus wants her to be reporting on. He wants her to be getting the ‘dirt’ and the scoop on the drugs, drinking, and sex going on in the school…. While Josie is hanging out with the Mathletes and quoting Shakespeare. Still, Josie struggles to get in with the ‘cool kids’ and feels bad about leaving the one friend she made, Aldys (LeeLee Sobieski) behind. There are many obvious references to Shakespeare’s “As You Like It”, which has a main theme of the ingenue disguised as something else (a young man), which in turn frees her to find true love. This clearly ties in with the theme of Josie pretending to be younger, which gives her the freedom to express herself in her true form… which in turn catches the eye of the young teacher Mr. Coulson. Mr. Coulson, or Sam, is puzzled by his developing romantic feelings for Josie, who to him is a student. This has “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” vibes, all over it. In this case, however, Josie has tricked him, unfairly, to think she is a student when she is really 25 and has a lot of maturity. She also has the same smarts and love of words and language that she did in high school-- which to the Language Arts teacher, Mr. Coulson, becomes a lure. Much like Orlando in “As You Like It”, he is concerned by his feelings because it is wrong to love a teenage student. Orlando, similarly, was puzzled by his feelings for a young man, when he never had those feelings before. Disclaimer *Not that there's anything wrong with that, just as all are consenting adults*. Anyhoo, Josie has to hide her feelings for him, and focuses on ‘getting the story’. She goes to a party and tries to be with the ‘cool kids’, unwittingly intaking a large amount of THC by eating a giant pot brownie. The next dance scene is... lively as Drew Barrymore cuts a rug with a giant pink boa and makes the white girl overbite with her lips while thinking she’s being sexy. I laughed so hard, my cheeks hurt. Soon enough, Josie’s brother, Rob (David Arquette) comes to her rescue by being the new ‘cool guy’ in town. While also posing as a student, he starts dropping hints that Josie is actually really cool. Later, he finds meaning in life when he becomes a part of the baseball team. Things come full circle for Josie when she gets asked out by the school hunk, Guy, for prom. This happened to her once before, in real high school, with disastrous consequences. Here, Drew Barrymore lets the audience have it with the full range of emotions, from sadness, embarrassment to pure joy and elation. Her comic timing is perfect, she is willing to make an absolute fool out of herself if it fits the scene, and at the same time she can make the audience cry by showing the heartbreak of the character. Luckily, by prom, Josie has “transitioned” as the kids call it, to a cool kid… but this time it is up to her to spare the embarrassment of someone she cares about… and though she helps Aldys, she hurts her brother’s feelings and Sam’s feelings. That final scene at the baseball field is iconic. The Beach Boys playing in the background is perfect, and Josie finally gets her first kiss. I know I swooned at the scene, and I’m sure many many other women think of it as one of the most romantic scenes in modern movie history. Oh, and by the way, apparently Drew Barrymore is a very good kisser, because Michael Vartan admitted on her talk show this year that he had to excuse himself, to umm…calm himself down at the end of one take. Sparks were really flying on that mound, so it seems! This movie… what a fun film. ALSO, I felt *everything* this journalist felt in my first rewatch of this film in 20 yrs, see below: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/never-been-kissed-adult-rewatch